What did they really expect?

I tried to take a moment from my tendency towards humor to render an opinion on the middle east [is it really a crisis?, a war?, an escalation?, a police action?, whatever... I guess we'll call it tradition] tradition.

The various arab nations (Syria, Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Lebanon, Jordan, et al) have been taking pot shots at the Israelis for the past 59 years. The Palestinians are upset because their homeland (conquered and ruled by Britain for nearly a century, so I guess we'll call it a former British colony) was given over to the homeless Jewish refugees that nobody wanted following World War II. I guess that to bring this into focus we should talk about the great Utah/Nevada uprising of 2006....

This is as close as I can come to likening this to anything we Americans can relate to:



The staunchly conservative Mormon (Latter Day Saints, LDS, etc.)Church, operating from within the state of Utah today launched pamphlets into the very liberal, one might even say Gommorrah-like state of Nevada. The Mormons finally grew tired of the moral abominations taking place in their neighbor state, and besides, the lights from Las Vegas were keeping them up at night.

The state of Nevada retaliated by tossing back beer cans and hurling epithets over the border. They also turned up the volume on their stereos.

It is believed that a group of Mormon operatives, operating in pairs have begun a campaign of door-knocking across the Nevada countryside, further exacerbating the situation.


In response to this action, Escort Services in the Las Vegas area are preparing baudy pamphlets for disperal in the Salt Lake City area. Their headquarters at the Mustang Ranch has gone on full alert and happy hour has been extended to 24 hours a day.

It is not known whether this will end up resulting in a further escalation of hostilities, but Nevada feels that since it is the home of White Sands, and Area 51 that its defenses will withstand any escalation by splinter groups within Utah. The Mormon Church has been receiving support from throughout the world to build its arsenal for many years. Analysts estimate that the Mormons are in possession of several million pamphlets and have no fear of using them. Publishing companies in nearby Wyoming are prepared to surreptitiously provide additional pamphlets, (including multi-paged, bound pamphlets) should Mormon stockpiles become depleted.
Although the Mormons are believed to be capable of both "Mass Mailings" and "Email Canvassing," it is premature to suggest that they may bring these weapons to bear in the conflict.

Utah, with no real arsenal to speak of, has found itself unable to control the reckless Mormon excursions into Nevada. Their legislature has decided that they will rely on the support of its neighbors to defend its sovereignty should the conflict escalate out of control.

As the initial reports of the conflict were communicated to state leaders in the surrounding areas, the governors in nearby states quickly took sides. Colorado, home of the Coors brewing company has pledged to support the Nevadans by providing them with plenty of additional beer cans to toss over the border. Arizonans formed several posses of armed men and began moving them toward the Hoover dam. The Arizona posses are stretched pretty thin since they are already defending the Mojave Strip against incursions from the south.

California was reportedly making plans to rescue gamblers via commercial airliners and take them to the casinos at Lake Tahoe where it was felt that their citizens would be safer. Unfortunately, since most of the gamblers were unable to pay for the price of tickets to Tahoe, it is believed that attempts at rescue will be rebuffed at the casino doors.


OK, enough.... this is as silly as the war in the middle east.... Just because you do not agree with someone is no reason to shoot at them. What could Hezbollah, the PLO, or Hammas have expected? If you start killing people, someone will eventually feel the need to defend themselves. For no other reason, I support the Israelis in this conflict. They have been putting up with this for a long, long time. I just can't believe that after all of this time their response is so "measured" and that they didn't just level the country of Lebanon.

OK, that was pretty hawk-like. In all honesty, I do believe that the very concept of shooting at people to make a point is ridiculous. They are all sovereign nations and they have other methods to express their displeasure with things. Boycotts, border closures, economic sanctions, but they must learn to control their people and keep them from starting things. Terrorist organizations cannot be allowed to operate in a country, and as a sovereign nation it is the responsibility of the Lebanese government to prevent Hezbollah from attacking over their border.

Religion is the bane of an orderly world. It shouldn't matter what religion that you believe in, it should be a personal thing. I cannot ask anyone to fully embrace my beliefs if I am unwilling to embrace theirs. As I am not, we have come to an impass and we just need to get past it and we'll find out who wins in the hereafter. I feel no particular need to speed up the process by which you find out that I am right, so let's just live together and we'll both know I'm right in the end. If you are, I'll feel pretty silly.

I tried to take a serious look at this situation, but unfortunately, this situation is so absurd that I just can't do it.

Anyway, enough is enough. Israel tried to stop, but the Hezbollah folks took advantage of the pause and started moving missiles around and then shot some during the break. It didn't work again, so what did they really expect?

I just find this terribly funny

I believe that the MasterCard commercials have probably become so deeply ingrained in Americana that they will be with us forever....

Insurance Companies

I don't know where this originated, but I have always found it to be funny...

This ham is sitting at his desk answering a letter from his insurance company...
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block 3 of the accident reporting form. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient.
I am an Amateur Radio Operator and on the day of the accident I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and materials down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley that was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools, (you will note that in block 11 of the report form that I weigh about 155 pounds.)
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say I proceeded up the side of the tower at a rather rapid rate. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my ascent up the side of the tower, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Luckily, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At the same time however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed only about 20 pounds. (I refer you again to my weight in block 11.) As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level I met the barrel coming up. Well, this accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body.
The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of tools, and I was fortunate to have only 3 vertebrae cracked. I am sorry to report however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and not observing the barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind-- I let go of the rope.
Original author unknown

The flag that doesn't fly

THE ONLY FLAG THAT DOESN'T FLY

Between the fields where the flag is planted, there are 9+ miles of flower fields that go all the way to the ocean. The flowers are grown by seed companies. It's a beautiful place, close to Vandenberg AFB. Check out the dimensions of the flag. The 2002 Floral Flag is 740 feet long and 390 feet wide and maintains the proper Flag dimensions, as described in Executive Order #10834. This Flag is 6.65 acres and is the first Floral Flag to be planted with 5 pointed Stars, comprised of White Larkspur. Each Star is 24 feet in diameter; each Stripe is 30 feet wide. This Flag is estimated to contain more than 400,000 Larkspur plants, with 4-5 flower stems each, for a total of more than 2 million flowers. You can drive by this flag on V Street south of Ocean Ave. in Lompoc, CA! ..
Aerial photo courtesy of Bill Morson Soldiers' Prayer

For our soldiers....Please don't break it

When you receive this, please stop for a moment and Say a prayer for our servicemen There is nothing attached.... Just send this to all the people in your address book. Do not stop the wheel, please....

A Mike Royko column from 25 years ago

I can remember reading this back when it first came out in a magazine somewhere. I ran across it on the web recently, and the strange part is that things haven't changed much in the past quarter century. Ireland has calmed, but things have worsened in the middle east...

Dear God: Why?
-- by Mike Royko [May 5, 1981]

To: God
Address: Somewhere in the Universe

Dear God:

I know how busy you must be with a whole universe to worry about. That's why it occurred to me that you don't have time to read our papers and your TV reception might not be good. So I thought I'd drop you a note about how things are going here.
Well, things couldn't be going any better, at least as far as your image is concerned. You would believe how well loved you are on this planet today, and how much is being done in your name.
I hardly know where to start, there's so much going on. So I might as well start in Northern Ireland where you've always been very big. Ah, what religious fervor can be found there. The Irish Protestants are so devoted to you that they do everything possible to make life miserable for the Irish Catholics, because they don't think the Irish Catholics have the right approach toward worshiping you.
And the Irish Catholics do what they can to make life miserable for the Irish Protestants for essentially the same reasons.
In their great love for you, they shoot at one another, bomb one another, set one another afire, kill little children, bystanders, cops, soldiers, old ladies, and some are now committing suicide by starvation. Then each side buries its dead, goes to church, and gives fervent thanks to you for being on its side. It is very touching.
And one thing about these people: Their devotion to you is unshakable.
They've been doing this for about four hundred years. So it's a good thing that you have an entire universe at your disposal, because I don't know where else you could find a room to accommodate the souls of all the people who have died there in your name.
You're also highly regarded in a country called Lebanon, where just about everyone believes in you, although they don't agree on what you should be called.
In that country, there are Moslems and Christians, and they've created different sets of rules for worshipping you. Naturally, they say you have sent the rules down to them. I don't know if that's true or not, but if I may make a suggestion: If it's true that you gave them the word, it would really simplify things if there were only one set of rules. It would cause less hard feelings.
But such details aside, they are expressing their devotion to you by killing each other by the hundreds. I guess they figure that if one side can wipe the other side out, it will prove their way of worshipping you is correct, and you'll be pleased with them.
So every day, they lob shells at one another and blow up the usual men, women, children, bystanders, old ladies, and stray dogs. And every day, they take a few moments out to thank you for your support and to promise that they'll continue their efforts on your behalf.
Now, not far from there are countries called Iraq and Iran. The Moslems in those countries basically agree on what to call you, but they disagree on some details concerning how best to worship you. So they're killing one another, too.
It's more than a little confusing, though, because in Iran there are people who call themselves Baha'i, and they, too, have their own way of showing their respect for you. Unfortunately for the Baha'i, their way doesn't include killing others who don't share their point of view. So that makes them patsies, and the Moslems in Iran, in their love for you, have been kicking the Baha'i around pretty good.
Just a short missile ride away, there's a lot of religious action going on between a country called Israel and just about everyone else in that neighborhood.
The people in Israel also have their own set of rules for worshiping you, which they say you passed on to them. And they claim that you look more favorably upon them than anyone else. This has always caused a lot of hard feelings because a lot of other groups figure that they're your favorites. (It must be hard being a father figure.) Israel's claim that they're Number One has also made some people wonder this: If the Jews, after all they've been through over the centuries, are really your chosen people, what do you do to somebody you don't like?
Anyway, the Jews and their Muslim neighbors -- both of whom claim your complete support -- have been going at it for about thirty years. But I don't think they'll ever equal Ireland's record because they'll all eventually have nuclear bombs. Boy, when they start throwing those around, will you have a crowd showing up.
Oh, and I can't forget to mention this final item. Somebody just shot the Pope. As you know, he's the leader of one of your largest groups of followers here. The Pope is a very peaceful, nonviolent man, by the way, although his followers have been known to shed a few million gallons of blood when their tempers are up. Anyway, the man who shot him apparently did it because of his devotion to you. It's not completely clear, but this fellow seems to think the Pope was in some way responsible for somebody invading the sacred mosque of his religion in a place called Mecca. That, of course, was an insult to you, so he got even on your behalf by shooting the Pope.
Well, I know you're busy, so that's all for now.

P.S. I never believed any of those stories going around a few years ago that "God is dead." How could you be? We don't have one weapon that can shoot that far.

The results of trolling through YouTube today

Here are some videos that I found as I trolled through YouTube today... No particular order or anything, just some eclectic findings..


This one is for Dave.... He's a freak for Final Fantasy.




This is not quite as good as Bruce Sprinsteen's version, but it will do.



I ran across this from a Scandinavian movie. I thought it was pretty funny. Probably not for the younger folks though.

Introducing the Spockmarket

I have been playing the SpockMarket on G4TV.com for a few weeks, and I find it enjoyable. They will be resetting everything on August 1st, so if you haven't played before, now would be a good time to get in.

I made an Excel spreadsheet to monitor the market. I added some links that work to buy or sell stocks, and the sheet automatically updates every minute. Here is a screenshot of the spreadsheet.

Just so we're clear here, it does nothing automatically. I don't cheat, but the interface that they provided isn't all that intuitive.

A farewell to our rights?

I just read this article on Slashdot - "Photograph the Police, Get Arrested" and I have to admit that I am truly starting to be afraid for our rights in the US. I realize that we need to be careful of exposing our secrets or allowing terrorists access to critical infrastructure, but new laws such as the Patriot Act are being used against us.

Through broad interpretation of the new laws, and use of "executive orders," the Bush administration has managed to bring us closer to a police state than the founding fathers would have wished. Jefferson, Adams, Hamilton, Franklin, et al were brilliant thinkers and purposely added protections to the constitution to prevent these things from happening.

As I said earlier, I am pretty isolated up here. It is a quiet area with little or no crime... certainly no violent crime. I believe that there has been one murder here in the past five years, and that was the result of a domestic dispute. Our biggest problem seems to be DUI charges. I have noticed that in addition to most of the charges usually associated with DUI (speeding, reckless driving, etc.) that I am seeing a lot of "Making Terrorist Threats" charges and convictions. Through broad interpretation of the Patriot Act the police are now using that section to charge people with a felony for waving a fist or offering to kick their asses. Now, we all know that the reason behind the DUI laws is because people are not in complete control of their faculties when they are intoxicated. I have also known a lot of rather belligerent drunks who, under the pressure of a traffic stop, would make threats to an officer. These are otherwise normal people who are not in control of themselves (that's why they were pulled over) and would not make similar threats when sober. Why are we allowing this to continue?

As far as taking photographs of police officers on duty, I can see no reason in the world that it should even be questioned. If they can use the dashboard cameras and interrogation room recordings against us, we need to be able to record them in the performance of their duties. All part of mounting a vigorous defense I would think. The only real exception would be when an undercover officer is involved, and in that case the recordings should be reviewed privately and a ruling made (if they can use secret judicial hearings, we should be able to as well).

Admittedly, these cases are probably the exception, but we must protect ourselves from tyranny. When I joined the military I swore an oath to support and defend the constitution of the United States and although I have been discharged for many years I do not recall having been released from that oath.

If you follow the links through the article I linked above you will come to one that is worth the time it takes to see:




I am sure that things vary from state to state and that nothing in the world can compare to the advice of a licensed attorney, but for the lay person this is probably a good start.

We just need to start being more vigilant and working with our representatives to correct some of these "Big Brother" efforts by the administration. In the meantime, thankfully we have the ACLU. I am a member, joined a year ago when the wheels started to come off.



It isn't just for liberals anymore.....

The Red Flannel is born

I doubt very much that anything that I write will be of import, but I haven't anything better to do, so here goes.

I guess I'll start out with the state of things and we'll move on from there.

I live in Warroad, Minnesota (USA in case I get a foreign visitor or two). Warroad is located in the bottom left corner of the little chimney on the top of Minnesota. Lake of the Woods, one of the largest freshwater lakes in the world is just at the North edge of town. Warroad is famous for its love of hockey. I hate hockey, so we'll just leave it there and move on.

Warroad is also the home of Marvin Windows. At a population of just over 1700 and the fact that there are close to 2000 employees at the plant, I would guess that they employ about 110% of all of the people in town. It is a good company to work for, the benefits are fair. I work at Marvin along with the other 109.7% of the people in the area.

The border crossing to Manitoba, Canada is a mere six miles from here, and the crossing to Ontario, Canada is just about 40 miles away. Interestingly enough, it is shorter for the Canadians to cross through northwestern Minnesota than it is to remain in Canada and go east. (Lake of the Woods is huge, and instead of a 200 mile trip around the lake to the north it is just better to swing south through the states).

Once upon a time I had a decent job, working with computers, making enough money to be comfortable, and actually enjoyed my life..... That was before the year 2000 and the great tech wreck, 9/11, and the Bush presidency part II.... Bush the sequel really sucks compared to the original, but that seems to be the way with a lot of sequels.

The best part of being up here is that we are isolated to the point where world events have little bearing on our daily lives. The nearest WalMart store is about 90 miles away in Thief River Falls, MN. So many people here worry more about the weather than they do about news that it shocks me to this day. After three years of living here, I am becoming one of them. We haven't had any rain to speak of in about six weeks, and things are drying up out there.

Well, that is the end of the introduction. Next time I'll probably have something a little more interesting or possibly even enlightening to say, but for now, thanks for looking in.

In the interim, here are some pictures that I found to be quite funny....



Those silly Canadians.... Unfortunately, this is a very real problem up here right now since it has been so dry of late.






Someone told me that this was from Australia or New Zealand... They take safety seriously down under I guess.... It is nice to see that they treat people like adults though (note that there may be some language that is inappropriate for minors on here, or was that miners.....)




In this picture it seems that someone needs to work on their priorities.... Or perhaps more people are hurt by the sign than go over the bridge.... doesn't matter much..... My guess is that it is from somewhere in the Commonwealth.



Now, these next two more or less speak for themselves.... These are our tax dollars at work...



And here we have rather the opposite......

And finally, the people of the Penrith area win the fair warning award of the day....


Our musical selection for today is "Brothers in Arms," by Dire Straits.....